


Paradise in your eyes.

by thedarksideoflauren



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester Falling in Love, Destiel - Freeform, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Human Castiel, Hurt Castiel, Jack being Jack, M/M, Mentions of Sabriel, Sabriel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 08:05:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16761229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedarksideoflauren/pseuds/thedarksideoflauren
Summary: "When Castiel fell from Heaven, the sky was crying. He landed in the middle of the desert, perhaps somewhere in Mexico, his whole body was aching, a jolt of pain spreading deep in all his bones.In between his shoulder blades two long, vertical, fresh wounds could be seen, a reminder of where his wings used to be. A reminder that he was no longer an Angel of the Lord."I was inspired by "American money" by Børns while writing this. That song SCREAMS Destiel, you should definitely give it a listen.





	Paradise in your eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, it's Rye!  
> I hope you won't mind some mistakes here and there, English is not my first language and I tried my best to make as little mistakes as possible.

When Castiel fell from Heaven, the sky was crying. He landed in the middle of the desert, perhaps somewhere in Mexico, his whole body was aching, a jolt of pain spreading deep in all his bones.

In between his shoulder blades two long, vertical, fresh wounds could be seen, a reminder of where his wings used to be. A reminder that he was no longer an Angel of the Lord.

He rebelled, he went against Heaven for the Righteous Man, the man he built back to life, he had seen every inch, every atom of Dean Winchester. He gave up on everything for the human, the moment he gripped him from Hell, he was lost.

Somewhere in between reality and unconsciousness, the former Seraphim, saw Dean’s soul, bright and pure as ever, outshining Hell’s darkness.

The soul was so pure that, when Castiel gripped his left shoulder tight and raised him from Perdition, he felt his hand burning, he couldn’t explain how that happened, Angels weren’t supposed to feel pain, yet he felt the aching throb of his hand, which carried on even long after Dean was saved.

The moment his hand touched the Righteous Man’s shoulder, the Angel felt a strong link connecting their souls, something he would later explain as a _Profound bond_ to the younger Winchester.

He had been staring at the stars for an eternity, the cold air sent chills to his newly human form, he could still feel a pinch of Grace in his vessel, but it was not enough to teleport to the bunker.

He was still in too much pain to move a single muscle, he knew he would have died if he did nothing.

He grabbed the phone from his dirty, rugged, trench coat, hoping it was still somewhat functional, he sighed in relief when he saw that it was broken, but still alive. Just like him.

His sight was blurry, but he didn’t need to see anyway, he composed that number so many times that he could do it blindfolded.

It took one, maybe two, rings before Dean’s husky voice filled the phone and his ears.

“Cas, where the hell are you?” the Angel sensed the worry in the human’s voice.

“Hello Dean, I don’t know. I’m somewhere in the desert, I think Mexico” his voice was weak and filled with pain, it hurt him to breathe, let alone speak.

“Shit, alright I’ll ask Sammy to trace your phone, hang in there buddy.” he could hear Dean call for his brother. He had spent so much time with the man to recognize the worry in his voice.

Turns out he was closer to home than he thought, if a ten-hour drive can be considered short, he was somewhere in the Chihuahuan desert, in Texas.

“De-" Cas’ words were cut short by Dean’s virile voice.

“Don’t you dare speak Cas, or move, I’m on my way.”

No sound could be heard in the vastity of the desert, the howls of coyotes where nothing but a distant memory, he knew he heard them, but he couldn’t place how much time had passed, it felt like centuries. In the sound of silence, he heard his own heartbeat, a sound that was so unfamiliar to him, the pounding heart reminding him he was mortal, human.

The sky was slowly turning into various shades of a color between rosy pink and sandy yellow, in the gentle morning light, he began to see the first shapes of rocks, tumbleweeds and far away in the distance a big Canyon. He used to be that big, he thought bitterly to himself, now he is a powerless, useless being. How was he supposed to protect Dean?

His mouth was dry, needs he never had were kicking in, he grunted in discomfort, in the terrifying silence he closed his eyes, hoping that soon a sound, any sound other than his thoughts and heartbeat, filled his ears.

He could sense vultures in the distance prying on him, their gaze vicious, they were impatient to tear his whole body apart.

Ages passed, the sun was shining high in the blue sky, the hot rays hitting directly on Castiel’s body, that was slowly getting more and more dehydrated. He was on and off between consciousness and unconsciousness, his lips chapped, copper taste in his mouth and a handful of dust in his hands.

He didn’t hear the roaring sound of Dean’s Impala, nor he felt the man’s hands wrapped around him as he easily picked him up.

Hours after he was rescued from the middle of nowhere, he opened his eyes, the sun was setting right in front of them. He tried to speak, but no sound came out, no matter how hard he strived.

He turned his head to look at Dean better, the man’s features were hard, his mouth was clutched shut, his eyes surrounded by dark circles.

The last time he had seen him in this rough state was after Sam’s death, he knew Dean wasn’t happy when he went _Patrick Swayze_ on him, which the Angel didn’t quite understand the reference, but with a little help from the internet he understood that Dean wasn’t happy when he disappeared without saying anything.

It was hard for the former Seraphim to ignore the man’s prayers, he prayed for Cas every single night, his voice filled with that Tennessee honey as he desperately called and called.

Dean never gave up on him, he searched harder, investigated harder, he wanted his feathered angel dickhead back, he didn’t give a shit if he had to walk through Hell or fight Angels to get him back.

“Cas, I don’t know what the hell you were thinking, I don’t even want to know, not right now. I am getting your ass home and we are getting you all fixed up, until then rest.” Dean commanded without looking at him.

He closed his heavy eyelids, drifting to sleep slowly with the image of Dean stuck in his brain.

When he woke up, he saw two shadows in front of him, his body tensing as he tried to get up.

“Easy tiger, you are home.” Dean said calmly, his hands on Castiel’s shoulders, tracing reassuring patterns.

Castiel blinked a few times, his vision no longer blurry, he looked at Dean and pulled him in for a hug, his hands wrapping tightly around him, as Dean grunted in surprise before hugging him back, his hands wrapping around the former angel’s wounded body in the most careful and longing manner.

He didn’t want to let go of the human, the moment their bodies made contact, Castiel no longer felt pain, his soul was suddenly filled with a heartwarming sensation. Family, the angel thought, he was back to his family, back home. But eventually Dean let go of him, the warmth of the man was soon replaced by Sam’s quick embrace.

“I’m glad to see you alive, man.” Sam softly said as he gently patted his back.

“How long have I been out?” his voice was raspy, barely audible

“Two days, at some point we were afraid you were dead or dying.” Sam answered as Dean stared at Cas, still in disbelief.

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you?” Dean said coldly before raising his voice. “How sorry are you for disappearing without mentioning anything to us? I prayed to you every damn night and you never came. You once told me that you would’ve always come when I called, but where the hell were you? You left your goddamn family behind for a bunch of feathered assholes.”

“I did it to protect you, I didn’t want to leave either, but the Angels were a threat and I had to take care of them before they took care of you.” Castiel replied struggling, his lungs jolting in pain with every word.

“You are a selfish bastard, you do- “ 

“Dean, enough.” the younger Winchester interrupted him with a gentle tone.

“Enough my ass! Do you know how dumb that was Castiel? You could’ve told us, we wouldn’t have stopped you, we would’ve been by your side and most importantly you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. Speaking of which, why the hell are you not healing? What’s wrong with you?”

“I am human, I’m a fallen Angel. I disrespected Heaven, my brothers and sisters, and I did it for you. To save you. My actions were never selfish, I didn’t want this either Dean, but I have to protect you. It’s your life over mine.” I took a deep breath “I’ve always put you before myself, Dean.”

The two men stared at each other, their eyes speaking louder than words. Dean noticed that Cas’ eyes still shined with a tiny bit of grace, the last reminder that the man that was sitting in front of him once was an Angel. While Dean was staring deep in Cas’ soul, the latter found a lost paradise in Dean’s eyes. When he was rebuilding the righteous man, he found a strong resemblance between Dean’s deep green eyes and the evergreen trees in Eden, and he realized that, although he could never get in Heaven again, he had found Paradise in Dean’s eyes.

“Alright buddy, you need some food. Can you walk?” Dean asked embarrassed, he did feel something for the Angel, the latter was sure of that, he heard Dean’s thoughts in vary occasion, no matter how hard he tried not to listen. The human didn’t think, he shouted in his own mind.

“I think I can walk, thank you Dean.” He said smiling politely, after years between the humans he was capable of mimicking human interactions.

He got up slowly, his whole body jolted with pain as his feet touched the ground, he wondered how Dean and Sam were able to endure pain so easily, he groaned and balanced himself on both feet, before he could do so, Dean wrapped an arm around the Angel, holding him for dear life.

“We don’t want you to get even more hurt, do we?”

“Thanks Dean.”

“No problem, buddy.”

He was on his third burger, yet he was still hungry, it felt like he hadn’t eaten in ages, which was true since it had been a long time since he last was human. He looked around and smiled to himself, since the last time he had been in the bunker’s dining room, some changes had been made: it wasn’t as empty as he remembered, dashes of color had been added to the once empty walls. His heart fluttered when he saw the pictures of them together hanging on the wall. It made him feel loved.

Something, actually, someone was still missing: Jack.

“Where is Jack?”

“Papa Bear don’t worry, the kid is with Bobby.” Dean sat down next to him, a beer in his hand as he handed a cup of tea to the Angel.

The sweet scent of vanilla filled his nostrils, even when he was an Angel, he had a sweet spot for Vanilla tea, he didn’t feel any flavor, but there was something in the sweet aroma that cherished him. The way Dean remembered what he liked made his stomach flutter, making him feel a weird, but good, tingly sensation. If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve mistaken such feeling for indigestion.

He nodded gratefully and took a long sip, he loved feeling the hot tea irradiating through his body and warming up every inch of it. As the flavor spread in his mouth, he couldn’t help but moan a little.

“Enjoying yourself a little bit too much over there, aren’t you?” he didn’t have to open his eyes to know that Dean was smirking, he could hear the smirk from the tone of his voice.

“It’s so different from when I was an Angel, this is pleasant, it makes me feel good.” Castiel said with a whisper, he didn’t like feeling useless, nor powerless, but he could get used to being human.

“Hey Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“Don’t you dare leave without telling us, we care for you and you got us worried sick.”

Dean’s voice was serious and still filled with some pain, he hated Cas for leaving them. Him.

The angel often underestimated how important he was in the Winchester brothers’ lives, Dean was not willing to lose his stubborn, dickhead, of an Angel. He was reluctant to admit that he loved the man in a deep, romantic way, he tried to shake the thought off, but he couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried.

The silence grew quick around them, they could hear Sam’s distant tapping sounds on the keyboard, the room smelled like vanilla tea and Tennessee Honey, like Cas and Dean.

Dean glanced in Cas’ direction every once in a while, afraid that the man would go away, he couldn’t bear losing the celestial creature again.

Castiel, on the other hand, could feel Dean’s gaze on his body, he could sense the fear in Dean’s soul, and this had nothing to do with his remaining Grace, even Graceless, Cas would have still been able to interpret Dean’s soul.

“I am not leaving you, Dean. Stop worrying.” They stared into each other’s eyes as Castiel spoke lovingly. The older Winchester didn’t reply, instead, he sat closer to the blue-eyed man, letting their hands intertwine as his head rested on the Angel’s shoulder.

Castiel didn’t know how to react, he was a millennial being and he knew so much about humans, yet he didn’t know how to be one, so he let his instincts take over, hoping that somewhere, deep inside his soul, was hidden a little bit of Jimmy, his human vessel. Jimmy would’ve known how to be human.

Without a second thought, Castiel pressed his lips against Dean’s head, planting a chaste, short kiss. His arms wrapping around Dean’s figure, pressing him closer to himself, as he let his body get used to the feeling, he couldn’t help but be content for the warmth he was feeling, physically and emotionally.

He wanted to ask Dean more about what they were, about feelings and all those things the hunter would call chick-flick moments, but he knew there was time for that, and if Dean didn’t want to answer his questions, he didn’t want to know. Sometimes, things don’t need an explanation, or a name, to work out.

It didn’t take long for Sam to notice Dean’s sudden change in behavior, the older brother didn’t even try to hide how differently he acted when he was around the former Angel. It started with small things, such as Dean pouring coffee for Cas in the morning, or Dean making sure Cas was all right every morning. Dean spent hours with Cas, answering a lot of _why_ questions, with so much patience that, at some point, he was afraid his brother lost his mind. Sam had his point, after all, his brother had always worn the tough guy façade, he was forced to become a man when he was four, he had to take care of his baby brother when he was a child; seeing his brother so carefree and soft, made the younger Winchester happy: he was happy to have Castiel back, but most importantly, it was good to see his brother’s happiness back.

One morning, while Cas was out with Jack to buy some groceries, Sam and Gabriel sat in front of Dean, who was reading his newspaper as he quietly sipped his coffee.

“Dean-o” Gabriel’s energetic voice disturbed the older Winchester’s peace, making him groan in annoyance.

“What do you want?” he huffed, closing the newspaper, before crossing his arms and glaring at the Archangel.

“Got something up your ass, Dean-o? I never thought my brother would top, but I never thought my brother would fall in love either so.” The Archangel voice is serene and filled with laughter.

“Look you son of a bitch, I’m this close to send you off, what do you want?” Dean growled.

“Oh Dean-o, don’t be so aggressive, Sasquatch and I wanted to talk to you for a minute.” The Archangel grinned.

“Well, as you well know, Castiel is my little brother. I’m doing what a big brother should do, as you can well understand what I mean, you would give anything you have in order to protect Sasquatch, wouldn’t you?” the trickster’s voice was filled with unordinary seriousness.

“I don’t get what you’re trying to tell me.” The older Winchester’s face was filled with confusion.

“See Dean-o, my brother cares about you, and it’s not due to the profound bond shit, or the fact that you have a bright soul. You taught to my brother something he, as a Seraph, could never know: love. He may know so much about the Universe, the notions he knows are endless, yet you, the last person I could ever associate the word love with, made my brother fall deep, deep in love.” The trickster stopped, laughing at the cluster of panicked thoughts he was hearing from the hunter’s mind. “Stop overthinking, you are giving me a headache. He likes you too, but if don’t do something about it, you are going to hurt him. I know my brother since the dawn of days, I know how he gets when he loses hope. It’s not pretty.” Gabriel sighed, remembering how broken Cas was when he lost Dean and could do nothing about it.

Dean didn’t know how to reply, he was not good with words, or feelings whatsoever, he knew what he and Cas had wasn’t brotherly. He was afraid to let it happen, to let the feelings takeover and their lives get turned upside down, he didn’t want to expose Cas to further danger, he didn’t want demons to go after the Angel.

“Dean, stop it.” Sam’s gentle, yet commanding, voice distracted the older hunter from his train of thoughts. “Stop worrying, I know that it’s hard not to with the lives we live, but we are going to protect him. All of us.”

“Dean-o, no Demon could hurt him as much as you would hurt him if you don’t do something about it.” With a shrug, he added as a matter-of-fact “And just for the record, God doesn’t care about gays, I’m pretty sure he is alright with that.”

Dean was about to reply when he heard light, familiar, footsteps, Jack’s excited voice filled the room as he was telling Cas something about bees and honey, making Dean smile with fondness as he remembered when Cas wanted to be a beekeeper. As Jack and Castiel were walking in, Sam and Gabriel were walking out.

“I got some pie, actually a whole pie.” Cas said looking specifically at Dean, smiling brightly as he put the groceries down, helped by the Nephilim.

“Kid, go play in your room or something, I’ll help Cas out.” Dean spoke softly as he got up, walking towards the Angel as Jack obediently walked out of the kitchen.

He started sorting the groceries, based on whether they needed to be put in the fridge or not, as he was doing so the Hunter couldn’t help but notice how carelessly Cas was moving around the bunker’s kitchen.

Although he was not an Angel anymore, Cas stood tall, with grace in his movements that showed off all of his power. His mind was still in a blur, Gabriel’s words still echoing in his mind, he didn’t even realize how his body was gravitating towards Cas, in fact he didn’t feel his legs strolling to where the Angel was, nor he realized he put a hand on the former Seraph shoulder, starling the latter which used the baguette he was holding as an Angel blade.

“Whoa buddy, calm down, it’s me.” Dean took the baguette from his hand, putting it down on the counter.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you approaching, can I help you, Dean?” there was a pinch of sadness and resignation in the Angel’s voice, he still had to get used to being human. Dean and Sam had a lot to work on.

“How are you, buddy?”

“I am still in a bit of pain, but the medicine you gave me worked very well, thanks for that. Jack offered to heal me, but I told him not to, he is still recharging.”

“Um, that’s good to hear, do you want to help me prepare dinner tonight? I think you should learn how to cook, now that you need food.” Dean smiled softly, his green eyes shining with happiness. 

“I’d love to, Dean.”

The two worked in tandem, Dean was stunned by how well Castiel followed his directions, in more than one occasion, the hunter wanted to kiss the Angel for making his work easier. He tried cooing with Sammy once, but it ended up in burned up chicken and uncooked rice.

“Alright dice up the onions, but don’t cut yourself.” The hunter instructed gently, glancing towards the Angel to make sure he wasn’t hurting himself.

Castiel was halfway done with cutting the onion in half when he suddenly felt his eyes burning and tearing up, he immediately threw the onion away, afraid that the thing was somewhat toxic and a weapon to hurt the Winchesters.

Dean, on the other hand, was very confused about why the Angel would slam the onion in the trash bin, closing it for dear life.

“Did that onion do you wrong, Cas?” Dean asked carefully, approaching the teary Angel.

“It was burning my eyes, I think it was releasing toxic gases or something.” Dean couldn’t help but let a husky, loud, laugh out. He loved how naïve Castiel was as a human being.

“Oh Cas, it’s not poisonous, onions make you cry.” He started chopping an onion, his eyes immediately tearing up. “ See? Ask Sammy for the reason behind that, it’s okay buddy.”

“Sor-.” Dean cut the Angel short with a rough, passionate, kiss which the Angel immediately

“Don’t be, now go set up the table, I’ll finish here.”

It took some minutes for Dean to realize what had actually happened, he didn’t plan on kissing Cas like that, but truth be told: you can’t plan things like this, they just happen.

On his lips, he could taste the sweet Vanilla flavor, he looked at Cas who seemed about to ask him a question.

“Talk later, now go.” His smile was soon mirrored on the ex- Seraphim’s face.

Dean’s smile never faltered as he watched Castiel set up the table clumsily. He had grace in his movements, that was for sure, but he missed grace in mundane actions.

He wanted to cook with Castiel more often, watch him in awe as he did the smallest things.

After dinner, Dean and Jack were standing side by side, cleaning and drying the dishes. They could hear Gabriel’s loud voice that was screaming at the TV for God knows what reason and the quiet quick tapping of Sam’s computer.

Jack, who had spent most of his dinner throwing glances at Dean and Cas, looked at the hunter, his head tilted to the side in a very Castiel manner.

“If Cas is my father, does that make you my mother?” the Nephilim’s words were filled with confusion.

“What?”

“You two are like Sam and Gabriel, so I was wondering if you are my mother. I mean, I know my real mother is dead, but yeah.” He stopped, looking at Dean even more confused, his head mirroring the emotions he was feeling as it tilted even more.

“Look, kid, I-.“ the hunter groaned, he didn’t know how to respond. “Let’s just say that I’m your mother, just don’t call me that, alright?” The only reply he got from the kid was a nod and smile.

“Dean, is it later enough?” Cas asked with a whisper, walking in the hunter’s room in the middle of the night and waking the hunter up.

“Hm? What do you want Cas?” he groaned as he turned on the bedside lamp, sitting up and patting the empty spot beside him for Cas to sit.

“I want to understand better what we are, Dean.” The Angel sat down next to the hunter, his blue orbits fixed on the hunter’s eyes.

“Cas, can’t you wait until morning? It’s 3 AM”

“I’m sorry, you are right.” He was about to get up when the hunter stopped him, tugging him by the hem a familiar Led Zeppelin T-shirt, which Cas borrowed from him.

“Just because I want to sleep doesn’t mean you can’t sleep here, stay.” Dean pleaded, his tired green eyes radiating with fondness as he scooted over to make some space for the former Angel.

The bed was not king-sized, in fact, it was quite small for two grown men to fit in, but neither of them minded staying so close to one another. Cas was enjoying the warmth coming from the hunter’s body, their arms and legs were tangled in a sweet embrace.

Castiel couldn’t help but watch over the man lying in front of him, taking in all the beauty. There was a light surrounding Dean’s body, even as a human, Castiel was able to see the brightest soul that had ever been created. He would’ve never thought that Heaven was not a place, but a person that smelt like home and tasted like Tennessee Honey. He didn’t care if the following day Dean used words to describe what they were, deep in his heart he already knew what actually mattered: Dean was his and he was Dean’s. Like it had always been and supposed to be.

With the relaxed, sleeping, face of Dean Winchester in his mind, the Angel drifted off to sleep.


End file.
